Michael Mann survives vicious subway attack

Both sides of the climate debate have condemned an attack on Dr Michael E Mann that took place last night as the scientist returned from court to his Wash., DC hotel.

Fellow Metro passengers described the assault on Mann and his work as savage, unprovoked and “ignoring multiple lines of evidence.”

Security camera footage obtained by Climate Nuremberg shows two men approach Dr Mann and strike up a conversation in bad faith. The video reveals the sickening moment when their Gish gallop of disingenuous talking-points finally overpowers the scientist’s objections.

The men wear baseball caps, blocking the camera’s view of their faces, but Dr Mann has said they were “flawed” in appearance.

Police believe the assault on his science was motivated by an inability to accept its implications.

They have praised the scientist as a “dream victim/witness” for the detailed description he gave of his assailants’ conservative politics, which “really narrows down the suspect pool in a liberal community like [Washington, DC].”

Arrests are expected soon.

Dr Mann reportedly blames himself for using the Washington Metro, a partially underground rail network, during a well-known Subterranean War On Science. Although Mann’s university provides academics with taxi vouchers for travel to and from scheduled court appearances, the respected paleoclimatologist is famous for preferring low-emission public transport whenever possible.

5 thoughts on “Michael Mann survives vicious subway attack

  1. KBO

    Well, presumptuously speaking on behalf of all here, our thoughts are with Nobel Laureate Mann and his family at this difficult time. Apparently one of the “assailants” had been “following”(?) him for some time and subsequently attacked him with something called a “tweet” (?) . Why can’t the authorities be more proactive in protecting what many believe to be one of most “Giant Brains” (headwise) of our time. Kipling (the poet, not the cake man) provides guidance,

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

    If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And—which is more—you’ll be [nothing like] Michael Mann, my son!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: BREAKING: Mann Quits Climate Science | Climate Scepticism

  3. achuara

    So those men simply talked him into a debate he couldn’t follow. Maybe those men had very strong qrguments that poor Mr. Mann couldn’t refute. And then he was sent to the hospital for a week? Wow!! There must have been very stressing questions presented to him. 🙂


  4. Pingback: A Dummies’ Guide to ‘Debate, Denial and Doubt’ by Dummies, for Dummies | Climate Scepticism

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