An Act of Contrition, In Two Acts

When I was younger I rushed to judgement about a website of some importance:

But what a fool I was to tweet that gag, RW!

Things are… clearer these days. Don’t you find? There is a certain savage logic to your moderation after all—a bloody law men must begrudge, but not deny.

In remorse I penned 75 percent of a rubāʿī:

The Moving Finger, having twat,
Cannot untweet a jot
Of what it twot.

But what a fool I was, RW, to write that near-rubāʿī!

I’m older now, and more computer-twiterate.

There is a can of trash. A can I could not see, but now I can. Beside that can, an unseen hand hath writ: Delete!

One can detweet! But dare I, bother I delete?

No; though I grow old,

That be not how I roll.

5 thoughts on “An Act of Contrition, In Two Acts

  1. Jan Stunnenberg

    Sehr geehrter Herr Prof. Lewandowsky,

    schön Sie hier zu sehen.
    Ich hätte da eine Frage an Sie:
    Ich glaube fest an Mondlandung und 9/11.
    Und obwohl ich Raucher bin, glaube ich trotzdem, dies sei sehr schädlich.
    Nur, ich gehöre die Klimawandelleugner an.

    Hier die Frage: An welche Geisteskrankheit leide ich nun?
    Wäre nett, wenn Sie hier helfen könnten, damit ich professionelle Hilfe einholen kann.

    Grüß aus Nürnberg.

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    Reply
    1. Jan Stunnenberg

      PS @ Prof. Lewandowsky:

      Das war vielleicht ein bisschen zu knapp.
      Für eine Ferndiagnose meine ich.

      Zur meiner Person:
      Männlich, Über 60, Habe Enkeln.
      Geschieden und lebe jetzt alleine.
      Arier aber mit krumme Nase.
      Liebe das Kapitalismus.
      Esse gerne auch Fleisch und trinke gerne Bier.
      Und ja, ich bin Raucher natürlich.

      Ich hoffe, Sie können Hilfe bieten, damit ich vom oben genannte Geisteskrankheit geheilt werden kann.

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      Reply
      1. Jan Stunnenberg

        Sure Prof. Lewandowsky understands German perfectly well.
        Since this is a blog post in WWW, one might read the above in English as well.
        Here it is:

        Dear Prof. Lewandowsky,

        nice to see You here. I have a question for you:
        I firmly believe in the moon landing and 9/11th.
        And even though I am a smoker, I still think this is very harmful.
        Only, I belong to the climate change deniers.
        Here is the question:
        At what mental illness do I suffer now?
        Would be nice if you could help me here, so I can seek professional help.
        Greetings from Nuremberg.

        PS @ Prof. Lewandowsky:

        This was perhaps a bit too tight. For remote diagnosis, I mean.
        To my person: Male, Over 60, Having even grandchildren, divorced and now living alone.
        Aryan but with crooked nose. Love the capitalism.
        Like to eat meat and to drink a beer or few.
        And yes, I am a smoker of course.

        I hope you can offer some help so that I can be cured from above referred mental illness.

        Like

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